Chapter 2

-P.S. I am by no means a good fantasy writer, but this was fun to write... -

(Someone: I opened my eyes to see such beauty. I now know the meaning of the word. My breath is short and my heart beats so. I was looking in the cold steel reflection of myself, you are so ugly my head hurts just to look at your back, and you smell like cow poo.) Beth turns around in a snap dropping the paper. These cages aren’t empty. Look at all these tiny animals. They are hybrids mixed to together like that dragon-tiger-bunny. This is beyond human’s ability to play with genes… isn’t it? (Oh, how could something as hideous as you have been created. What foul beast did your Mother sleep with? You have the form of a human, but you should be hunted as to rid the land this freak.) Beth walked up and stared into the noisy cage. A human head on a lizard with wings stood on its hind legs shaking the cage door. “You want out? They didn’t even lock the cage. It is just too heavy for you to open. I’m going to call you Liz.” Beth pulls open the cage and carefully picks up Liz. The little creature’s wings flip reveling the feather’s blue and green. (Liz: How dare you try and kidnap me. I’ll pull off your nails one by one.) “I’m sorry I have to do this, but a cat could eat you so I am going to have to pull a thread or two out of my rugs and tie you to me.” Beth proceeded to do just as she had stated, as Liz continued to yell in Japanese. (Liz: Are you the barf of a demon who ate… and… and…)

A load explosion causes part of the ceiling to fall, and a creak to appear. Looking up Beth gasps, “Ka-fu.” (Ka-fu: To have returned home after all this time. Enkei [name] burn all the papers, and I will release my family.) (Enkei: Looks like they have set their eyes on that clueless lady we rescued. She will have to travel with us from now on out.) Kannouteki jumps a dagger ready to stab into Enkei’s back. Quick movement flashes before Beth’s eyes as she falls on her butt. Ka-fu is opening the cages one by one after all the papers disappear in a gust of wind. Beth looks up to briefly see the woman who had stared in at her in the prison run through a sliding panel carrying all the papers as Kan—kan kicked Enkei against the wall with such force that it left a bent. (Kannoueki: We were thinking of burning this place down to the ground anyways. Thanks for making up our minds.) “Bye,” said Kannouteki rather oddly before he disappeared in a flash.

(Ka-fu: Its best if you stayed with us little wimp.) Ka-fu poked Liz who was angrily watching all the other little hybrids go free as he was tied up. (Liz: At the very least you can distance me from this wretch.) Ka-fu grabbed the string tying Liz and broke it and then angrily bops Beth on the head. (Enkei: I suppose it is still pointless to tell you what is going on, but you loyally followed us last time. I’m guessing that hasn’t changed much.) Enkei points to himself. “Enkei,” Beth says her name pointing to herself, and pointing to the lizard hybrid she says, “Liz.” "L.. Liz?" Ka-fu asks the lizard. (Liz: Fine with me.) (Enkei: Ka-fu. Let go find a place rest, and explain things to Liz.)

***

Situated around a fire, Beth contently asleep after her first meal with meat in over a month, the talking began. (Ka-fu: They like to play with creatures, but that is just the beginning. They have excess to ancient knowledge, but they use it to seek out demons.) (Enkei: I don’t know what they plan to do with Beth over there, but they have a habit of pulling the powers out of people. The powers pounded in by generations. There is something strange about that girl, not just her language and height, but she seems more separated from the ground then I have ever seen.) (Ka-fu: There is nothing special about her. Couldn’t even lift a two-hand sword, and as slow as a blooming flower.) (Liz: Her a flower? The Earth farted out its rejected materials when it bore her.) (Enkei: Her figure was rounded when we first saw her. She is not ugly, but foreign. Yet somehow similar…) (Ka-fu: Similar? I would never be caught in public with a girl like that.) Ka-fu rolled up his shelves reveling a cow print of short fur that looks silky soft. He starts to lick it, his tongue coarse as a cat’s. (Enkei: People who say that always end up falling in love. It’s the balance’s way of spite.) (Liz: $%#@$ I better keep my mouth shut then.)

Night falls and the group sleeps peacefully in the cool summer air. All dangerous animals stay far away, having long ago learned the danger of the cow-cat-person, and his friend who always managed to fall into the background despite his great knowledge and cool attitude.

“Yummy yummy in my tummy! I feel so good. That was one good breakfast,” says Beth as she walked towards a village. (Ka-fu: You’re slow, and you eat like a…) (Enkei: Reminder the balance’s spite.) Ka-fu stops in his tracks, and then walks a few bigger steps to catch up. Liz flies high up above them singing. (Liz: Up here it doesn’t smell!) Below a group of travelers are passing the group. “Of course everyone stares at me when there is a human cow. I haven’t felt human for one second in this world,” says Beth and then she picks up energy and yells, “Gazelle, I will never give you tuna again!” (Ka-fu: She is talking to the sky, and I don’t think its Liz.) (Enkei: I was hoping we would get a little bet further before she lost it. Interesting language though.) Ka-fu jumps in front of Beth and then pokes her. “No catnap either!” Beth yells paying no attention to anything else. The travelers start talking amongst themselves: (I was saying that she shouldn’t be traveling with men before, but it is clear that she is insane.) Ka-fu holds Beth’s nose closed. “Hey stop that,” Beth squeaks batting at him. (Ka-fu: So you are back in reality again. Don’t do that when we are hiding or something.) Ka-fu bops Beth on the head. Beth has turned a bright red. (Liz: Onward to the village. Onward crazy, smelly, ugly, stupid…) (Enkei: Spite.) (Liz: EEP)

They walk into the village. "This village is so cute, and I smell so many wonderful foods. Just look at the signs the words are all in Japanese. Maybe they will teach me now? To be able to talk again, that would be so much fun! Not that I haven’t been talking. I heard that if you don’t speak for a long time your vocal muscles get weak. What shall I sing?" “A, B, C, D, E, F, G…” Beth sings. (Ka-fu: She is making a foul of herself again.) “Next time won’t you sing with me,” Beth finishes. Ka-fu is staring at her. “What?” she says as starts to pretend he isn’t there.

It is around lunchtime in the village. Beth has some pretty and practical new clothes. "Oh, I have so lost my mind." Beth is spinning around as Enkei is talking with an old man who he had bowed to quite politely while Ka-fu leaned against the walk cow-tail thrashing. The old man looked from Ka-fu to Beth was Enkei smile turned into hidden annoyance. As soon as the man looks back Enkei has a normal smile. (Old man: There is no need to be so formal with me.) (Enkei: Thank you Ko-sama. Have you picked up on any rumors?) (Ko-sama: All you can do for now is gain strength. The main palace is still beyond your power, and that is where they have pulled back all their resources. Enkei-kun I heard you were almost killed in the last battle.) (Enkei: How…) (Ko-sama: Lets just say a flower told me.)

Beth had stopped her spinning to watch and gasps as what she thought was a flower moved. It drifted in the air like a butterfly and landed on Ko-sama’s shoulder. (Ko-sama: Oh you are impressed little girl. Watch this.) Ko-sama pulled out a small bell and rung it. A panel slides open as dancing flowers drift in like snow. (Enkei: It is hard to notice something as small as one flower. You have been making creatures as well.) (Ko-sama: Ha ha ha. Making… no they have been part of the family for years. They make the perfect spy. She is not as stupid as she seems, just lonely. You should try to protect her. They want to play a game with her, because she is different.) (Ka-fu: They play so much already, who cares who it is, Ko-kun). (Ko-sama: Normally we don’t know who they will target. Who can look at a smiling face like that and not want to keep her from the suffering they would put her through.)

(Ka-fu: Well, we better teach her to fight then. Tell me what is her power.) Ko-sama looks at Beth and then closes his eyes in meditation. (Ko-sama: Oh, this is something I have never seen before. Her power is Love.) (Ka-fu: Great job that will do fighting.) (Ko-sama: Teach her the basics then. There is something else though. There seems to be some sort of block to her learning the language.) Enkei bows in goodbye, and the group make their way out of the village to a good place for training.

Ka-fu takes Beth’s hand and walks to a tree. (Ka-fu: Ok kick the tree like this.) Beth stands there watching Ka-fu kick the tree. Is he trying to show off or something? “Yes, I see you can kick a tree,” says Beth. Ka-fu puts his hands in his hair and moos. (Ka-fu: Ok, see this here dagger I am going to attack the tree.) He does as he says. I need popcorn. “You know that tree has feelings.” Ka-fu hands Beth the dagger and gestures to the tree. (Ka-fu: Attack.) “I’m not abusing a tree. Here take this back.” (Ka-fu: No don’t give it to me. Attack the tree. No. NO. NO. ATTACK THE TREE!) “Fine… poor tree.” Beth proceeds to stab the tree. Ka-fu hands her back the dagger guides her hand. (Ka-fu: Hold it this way. And move your arm like this.)

(Enkei: Oh, you’re back from training how did it go.) (Ka-fu: She has bad movement, but when I stated showing her how to move she got so into it her face turned red. I will have her fighting in no time.) Beth wonders back and sets by Enkei. "I killed a tree. How am I ever going to forgive myself? It is worse then having to step on a spider because everyone is yelling, 'Kill the spider! Kill the spider!' Spiders have purposes in life, and they do a good job at it." (Enkei: Yep, I can feel the passion coming from her.) (Ka-fu: I’m going to find an animal for her to practice her moves on.) (Enkei: Not yet. Not everyone is a cat like you.)

Out of the woods come wondering a slug-anteater of human size. (Ka-fu: Beth, Beth over her. Take this dagger.) Beth comes forward looking at the ground…"but I think it is fine to kill mosquitoes because they suck your blood and all. Mosquitoes are the only… well I guess I pull weeds." Ka-fu puts a dagger and Beth’s hand. Feeling the dagger she says, “What?” and then the monster catches her eye, “Oh.” She gets pushed forward and the monster dives for her. She tries to jump out of its way, but its long tongue warps around her neck and she is forced to cut it. “I don’t hold anything against you. We can just live peacefully not hurting each other,” Beth tries to explain, but the angry monster thinks otherwise, and again Beth has to use the dagger in order to ward the monster away. It just keeps coming for her, as if it is unafraid of pain or death. So much trying to never even hurt of bug. Beth turns on attack mode.

The monster lies dead. The sun sets red as the green maple leaves blow in the gentle perfect weather. It was a day you would dream of, surrounded by drafting flowers in the air. (Enkei: You have a lot to learn, but at least we have fresh meat.) It’s strange. I cannot help, but feel proud. “What are you doing?” says Beth putting her hand on Enkei. He is cutting into the monster. (Enkei: That’s the first time you touched me on you own. If you knew my language I would ask you not to. Your power is love, and I do not intend…) (Ka-fu: Like anyone would fall for that lame power. Sheesh) Liz flies down from where he had been circling overhead. Scaled red skin mixed with lose feathers a head like that of a handsome human male seemed completely out of place. (Liz: I have imagined the battles of old, and Beth would defeat the warriors who fought in them with such a battle as she fought today. They would die laughing.) (Enkei: With you flying around up there all day, do you think you could warn us next time.) (Liz: I don’t warn you when a bird flies by. That fiend was harmless. She looks better covered in blood. Smells better too.) Enkei winces. (Enkei: We didn’t buy her battle clothes. The blood will not wash out. We have to go to a bigger city if we want battle equipment for a woman.)

(Ka-fu: Beth, you walk so slow.) He proceeds to pick Beth up. “Put me down you cow.” Beth kicks and twists and punches, but Ka-fu just continues to move forward. (Enkei: Put her down.) (Ka-fu: Why. You are going to give in to a little girl?) (Enkei: If you want her to be able to fight she needs to be stronger. Consider this a part of training.) Ka-fu puts Beth down. “You crazy #$!@$#@@#$#@ $#@$!@. I only travel with you for the food!” (Liz: ha ha ha Sure sounds like fun down there. By the way, a huge monster is trailing us.) (Ka-fu: YES!) (Enkei: We haven’t had a chance to train in a while. I think you should stay out of the way Beth. You too Liz.)

A big human head flying in the air by the power of all the insect wings attached to it. Opens it mouth to revel not a tongue, but hundreds of anaconda bodies with human heads. That is so cool. Do they really have to kill it? Enkei disappears, and only a slight bit of something moving appears here and there. While when ever Ka-fu says, “Bu-mu” a golden cow appears that lighting strikes wherever he throws it. After much fast movement and many explosions Enkei and Ka-fu meet together. (Enkei: We have to use the power Ko-sama found in another land.) Ka-fu did an energy charge and a huge golden calf appeared by the head. Enkei took up two stone tablets and throw them at the calf. A tornado of water set the head into a spin and then when the water disappeared fire and brimstone rained down. The head was dead. Both Enkei and Ka-fu fell down unconscious.

“This is not good,” said Beth after she had settled them into a more comfortable location. “Oh, that was quite a show wasn’t it,” said Kannouteki. Beth turned around and held up the dagger that had been given her. “Do you really want to kill the only person who can understand you?” said Kannouteki. Beth said, “Don’t hurt anyone.” “Its is an interesting language you speak. Not Gaelic. Like I first looked into. It is not like Chinese at all.” Walking up to Beth, Kannouteki stopped the dagger that she had aimed for his neck like it was a fly. “Oh, there are those eyes again. Do you want to continue traveling with these gentlemen and creatures that cannot understand you, or do you want to learn from me?” said Kannouteki.
“You do horrible things to animals,” said Beth.
“Don’t you think that these two just did a horrible thing to that head? They killed it.”
“Its different. It attacked. You hurt helpless animals.”
“Hurt? You’ve had surgery with me. Nothing hurts at all. How is it any different from those people back in England and the experiments they are doing? They even torture people for no reason.”
“I’m not from England.”
“Right, your Gaelic, and the English do horrible things to your people. Yet, you speak their language.”
“I’m American, and that kind of thing stopped centuries ago.”
“You are an interesting one. You even talk weirdly. I guess it must be you learned improper English. I had to do quite a bit of work to uncover the way your English works. You see this ball thing here. I had it with me when I was talking to you. I have it with me all the time. You wouldn’t understand, but it picks up things from up here,” said Kannouteki at the end tapping Beth on the head.
“That would be brainwaves,” said Beth.
“Oh you do understand, I don’t have to explain then,” said Kannouteki.
“It read my mind.”
“No, it recorded your mind, and it would react to what I said in the way that you would react. It is quite a fun game, and I wiggled out your language with the help some scrolls of real English. You really get to know a person through this, but it is limited,” said Kannouteki. Beth choose not to continue humoring someone how had clearly betrayed her. “So you don’t want to learn. What a shame. I wasn’t expecting this, but this ball’s power is limited. I guess I will let them live for now, for your sake. I was just along to make sure the head didn’t kill you. You have a surprise coming to you.” Ku ku ku ku. Kannouteki disappeared the dust on the ground was unsettled in the air. There was a line of where he must have gone in the dust, but then it all fell to the ground.

Hello world care for a story? Chapter 1

This story was just fun to write. It is meant to be cheesy.

Chapter 1
***

“Do you want to do some fan-art, or a story? Rairakku can fall in love with you?” said Bee. “That is so out of character that it is not even funny. How many people do you think have written that? Really, if you want to get anywhere writing you have to get beyond being a fan-girl. How old are you anyway? You know he is a teenager now don’t you?” said Beth.
“But almost all manga characters are teenagers. He is also two-dimensional. You have to get beyond that. You have to picture yourself as if you were a teenager. You liked Ka-fu didn’t you?” said Bee.
“I did, and I was a teen at the time.”
“Well he didn’t get any older.”
“He is like over 50.”
“Anyway, write this. My teenage self will magically appear before Rairakku. Naturally he will try to kill me, but in order to save me the same force that made me appear makes him fall so in love with me that he stops. In order to stop Rairakku it has to be pretty strong love, and…”
“You know Rairakku is gay don’t you.” said Beth.
“He is not, and he is not EMO either,” said Bee.
“You are so lame. Can’t you pick someone interesting for me to write about? I know the Scarlet Pimpernel!”
“You so used a “!” didn’t you? You’re calling me lame? What does ‘pimpernel’ mean anyways?”
“Pimpernel is a fancy word for Pimp.”
“lol That is such a lie.”
“gtg ttyl”
“Ok, bye.”

Beth pushed her office chair away from the wooden table with an oddly placed computer and shelves of old CD’s and even floppy disks. “I’m done with fan-stories. They are retarded. Right Gazelle. Gazelle?” said Beth before she started to spin around in her office chair looking at the ground. “Here Kitty, kitty, kitty.” said Beth making the ‘t’s roll.

Gazelle jumped up onto the table. Purr. “Oh you cute little snowshoe and your cute little white paws. You’re so pretty,” said Beth.

“Thank you,” said Gazelle and Beth almost fell out of her chair. Gazelle continued “Oh, don’t be a baby and give me the whole OMG scene. I am no longer Gazelle. I am a god of disarrangement, and as I have been hearing you like to add your own artistic license to other worlds. These are worlds that others have created. You see the very thought of a possible thing, a daydream perhaps, makes that world real.”

“I’m sorry. I will go delete my stories,” said Beth.
“I have a better idea. Close your eyes.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You’re going to blink sooner or later so if you want to be prepared…

*blink*

A teenage girl, Beth, stands in the middle of a field. All around of the field and scattered within Japanese maples are a bright spring red. A four-story tiger-dragon-bunny jumps towards her. Standing over her white-hot fire streaming out of its mouth and upward. Its long scaly neck is a mixture of soft tiger fur and bluish-green scales. In its mouth its two front teeth are those of a rabbit, square and seemingly harmless. A flash of purple jumps between her and the rabbit, and a man speaking in a language she does not understand comes up behind her. His arms are out toward her offering.

The man in a long robe walks up to Beth and takes her hands in his. Holding them up between their chests, and speaking in Japanese. There is a moment of silence. “Excuse me I don’t speak that language. Do you know English?” says Beth. Beth hears some sort of response, but it certainly wasn’t English. Beth’s eyes are like those of a deer. There is a bunny-tailed monster, and a man who doesn’t speak English. “OMG!” screams Beth as she runs away from the Bunny-thing. It bounds after her and is about to land right on top of her, when it is cut into two. Beth is covered in monster blood.

Wiping her eye clean from the mess, she sees someone in a purple outfit, long black hair, and a tail of a cow. “Ka-fu,” gasped Beth.

***

Beth is covered in mud and has just finished working on the farm. She still knows very little Japanese, and no one dares to teach her. She was dropped off here after being rescued by hand holding dude and cow dude, and she hadn’t seen them since. The people in the village look at Beth as some kind of demon, with blue eyes and a weird face. Almost no one talks to her. They built her a little shack and give her leftovers for working. Today she has the energy to go swim in the lake.

Unnoticed on the cliff of the lake are a rat, and a cat, and a Mat, and a bat, and a whale. The whale floats in the air the size of a calf, and they are all talking.
Mat says, “It is about time we offer translation to the audience.”
The bat says, “I think we should offer her some more strength training.”
The cat (Gazelle) says, “We could make her go through years of this, but then she will learn the language. We cannot have that. It would be too boring to have her understanding things. The time is now. In Japan before it was reopened to the world. A long time ago.”
“Alright.” they all say together.

Back in the lake Beth does her best to clean her hair. A pretty boy walks by the water with silk embroidered robes. Beth hides in the water with just enough room for her nose to breathe. What do I say? What do I say? (Pretty Boy: I did come to the water to see a crane, but spotted something rare indeed. How could you find eyes that mock the spring sky?) “Do you speak English?” said Beth. (Pretty Boy: You speak in such an elegant disguise. Words that whisper winter warmth. I think I could lose my self within blissful sighs.) “Sigh. What are you doing this isn’t a co-ed pool. You don’t throw fancy clothes like that on the ground. Sexual harassment!” (Pretty Boy: I’m just kidding. I was just trying to get you to speak intelligently. I see you are truly out of place not just in face, but in speech as well.) Pretty Boy turned his back to Beth crossing his arms and looking straight ahead.

Beth understood that he was enabling her to get out and put on some clothes. Soon she was in a set of raggedy robes and tennis shoes. Pretty Boy stared at her shoes while Beth pointed to herself and said, “Beth.” Pretty Boy pointed to himself and said, “Kannouteki.”

(Kannouteki: Come with me across water and mountains, we will fight the racial discrimination against bi-racial union… I hope you are fine with us not getting married and just having an affair. You are cute, but I don’t think my parents would approve. Come here.)

Beth starts to walk away from Kannouteki. He looks at this considers what to do and then Kannouteki pulls out some yummy smelling food. The process works. Kannouteki leads Beth through rocky mountain trails and a forest path. “How much longer are you going to make me walk before you give me some of that? What the…”

A palace appears on the turn of the corner. (Kannouteki: You know you wouldn’t be very hard to abduct. Just following a strange man through secluded areas. Maybe it is because I am so good looking? My charms transcend language.)

They get to the gates keeper who does the head to the floor bow that Beth has seen in so many manga. Big deal. I could tell by his clothes he wasn’t poor.

(Kannouteki: Take this lady and take care of her. Be sure to give her a good bath.) (Guard: Yes: Kannouteki-sama) Kannouteki bites into the yummy food. “Hey, hey. You tease; I knew that you were a traitor,” Beth says as she is dragged off into the palace.


How did I end up in prison? I get forced by a group of women to take a bath where they scrub me until I’m pink, and now I’m here on rice and water. How long has it been? "Oh home on the range. Where the deer and the buffalo.. range. Where seldom is heard…" Tap, tap, tap. Two people are coming towards your cell. Tap tap tap. A young women, with nothing outstanding about her stares in. (Nakaguri: Oh Kannouteki, look at that prize. I’ve never worked with someone with such eyes, and that face. I’ve looked in the books for someone who looks like you say; she is from far away indeed. I guess we will see what luck the Gaelic is. If it is any luck at all.)

Chapter 2

(Kannouteki: There is no need to whimper. I know that you can feel no pain. I just need to put this in a safe place where you cannot dig it out.) Beth’s chest is cut open and her beating heart is exposed. She is still in the prison, but a table has been brought in for the operation. Ha ha. They have me tied down when I am so afraid I couldn’t move. Kannouteki leans over and whispers in Beth’s ear (Kannouteki: I am going to put a love note in around the main vessel of your heart, so that wherever you go, I will find you. That is the power of Love. Just the word alone written on a piece of paper can be tracked.) He pulls out a silk clothe dripping with honey. Beth’s chest gets closed up, and not even a scar remains. Silk in my body… that is going to get infected and kill me, but I just went through surgery without pain, so…

The sound of a small battle is heard from outside. A familiar voice says “Bu-mu!” An explosion rocks the palace with such force the prison door falls down. “Bye.” Beth yells as she runs out. I know what will happen, I will get caught, but if everyone else is busy with the chaos maybe I can get away from Kan-nou… Kan. (Kannouteki: What do you expect me to run after you? Go have a little more freedom while we get things ready. Well I guess you should have to earn that freedom. Guard, don’t let that prisoner go, catch her) Ku ku ku.

Beth found a creak in the wall of the prison is now running through the palace. Look at all these priceless artifacts breaking. I cannot focus on it… Run. Run. Run. Lets try left. Now right. This place is like a video game, but I don’t have time to play. #$%# there is a guard! As a guard comes running at an altogether healthy speed, having eaten better food then Beth, Beth’s foot hits a panel, and the bottom moves inward like a garbage shot. I didn’t think they had these in Japan in whenever this is. Lets hope there isn’t a monster or a squishing machine like the garbage shot scene in Star Wars. ‘Garbage shot’ you are my only hope. Beth jumps into the little panel area, and lands on cushioned ground. Seating cushions are piled on top of each other. Clearly this is supposed to be an entrance. Rows of cages line one sidewall and technical equipment, and papers line the rest of the room. Beth walks up to a piece of paper and touches it. Words and pictures dance across its surface. When she touches one word the ink moves creating new words and pictures. It is like a computer screen, only in ink… on paper. How is this done?

[End of writing…. for now]
***


In my dream I was playing the Sims 2. The pool in the yard became a great abyss that I journeyed into. There were many little pools at different depths, which were connected together. I ran into sloth and anger, but this was just the tip because next came the devil. I made a deal with him.

I exited the abyss, and soon found myself driving down a road comparing cars. Then I saw someone who was in the team of the devil driving with someone young. I was outraged that someone so young would be involved with such a thing, and I soon brought it up in a meeting.

That is what I remember.

***

Yesterday I wrote until the point that I was enjoying it a little too much. When chocolate has as much impact as it was having on me you begin to realize that someone is bordering on the limit of become hypo-manic. Yet I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to continue to write for just a while longer before a late bedtime. My sister borrowed my computer and having the chance to write torn away from me, I concluded it was time to sleep.

While I was walking home yesterday I saw the spaces in-between things intensely. Instead of looking at objects as was watching the depth between me and that beyond a tree disappear one by one. I could almost feel the moment when that depth disappeared and my vision curved round the back of the tree. The next tall thin thing became the next dividing line.

Dreams

Fighting with the feeling that things are boring, that this movie is boring when I am sure I would have loved it in another state. Here I am. This morning… yes it is not afternoon yet. I began contemplating my dreams and how the medication has changed them. Very soon after starting my medication path I begin to dream about people and books and movies that are in my life. I was happy to have dreams I could understand.

When I was a child no matter how much I wanted it I would not dream about say a book like the Lord of the Rings, or later Inu Yasha. In the end I had one dream for each of them. Now that I am on medications for a while I had so many dreams about Sasuke (anime) that I begin to wonder what he meant to me. Now I kind of miss the old dreams.

My old dreams felt deeper. I fell into another world. While now I just barely touch the surface as if I am looking at a reflection of the world of dreams. In a book I read by Robert Jordan (actually quite a few books) sometimes people dreaming could enter into another realm like place. Perhaps it has been so long since I dreamed deeply that it is slowly wearing me out.

It is not just I. People on the medications I am now (at higher doses) complain of dull dreams, plus a dull feeling brain. As for the dull brain, activity takes my focus off of it. So my feeling of boredom is gone. While I do not write as much now in the summer, I have to admit that writing helps me. I guess it is my way of playing chess. Chess is not active enough for my brain even if it is very active for some people.

Writing holds potential for me. I can write the world I can no longer touch. If I could only know how.

Writing is like a knife to fight the boredom, just like entering free sweepstakes gets me doing something during the horrible uneasy feeling. I am training my mind, and every action gets me further from crawling up into a ball in my lazy boy chair.

More for today!

I’m chatting a little while I’m talking to you know so if I seem even more like I have A.D.D. forgive me. In reality when I was younger I had a focus that very strong. That is how I did well in school. Science most of all just captivated me. I was amazed by the ‘possible lies’ that were thought to me. After all, people used to believe that you could tell if a person would be a criminal by the shape of their head and facial features. Isn’t it comforting thinking that you can explain things with formulas? Once you experience something impossible this foundation cracks.

So I turned away from Science and faced another world to that of Tarot, but at the same time my religion frowned upon this. So the war that used to be between Science and Religion (some think this war still exists) was taken up by me in the form of Magic vs Religion. Religion was makes it seem Magic is possible, but it would be more correct to look at it as miracles not Magic. Magic is something humans can call upon and control while in Religion we can only ask for aid.

I wonder if my ancestors ever visit me? My ancestors include a Nun and Monsignor or two. They would be happy to see me, as a Catholic too wouldn’t they? Would they understand that old need I used to have to connect something supernatural, or when I was in love to know if I was loved back? To ask, “Am I going to fail this course (which I would pass with an A or B in the end)?”

Somehow I stopped caring. I don’t need to know the future I’ll just follow the wave that is life. Who needs to connect the supernatural, I’ll have forever to do that, and I only will be alive now. Unless we are reborn on Earth in which case I still have a lot of time so why rush.

Somehow for a while I lost my nervousness and I didn’t know how to drive myself without nerves. Yet today I do feel like using Tarot cards… not to see the future, but to touch the other side.

I was always… I could quite say envious, but awed and looking up to those Saints that where about to see God. I wanted God, Jesus, Mary, Angels or other holy things to become visible to me. If I could see this I would know that I would be guided by God and I could go out and help the world. I could take the risk of not going to college, and living a life of what I had been taught in Religious class, but the holy never became visible to me.

So I went to art school. I wanted to get into the University so much and I felt that art was the only way that I could get in. My plan was to transfer to LSA if it didn’t work out, but I just settled. I didn’t go on the journey of ‘what do I want to become.’ I just stayed with what others said I was good at, and now I’m done with art school, and I feel that I am not a good enough artist to continue in the field. My Professors tell me I am good at writing. So I write.

My sister R. disagrees with me, but writing is something that flows in my genes. My siblings T., A., and R. are all praised as wonderful writers, and somewhere along the way I was praised. I am told I have a unique voice… that is certainly true, but that doesn’t make me good… yet. I would need to work on it a little more.

Watching the Days unfold

Everything was going well today. All smiles and happiness, but then I realized I had made a mistake. I am sorry. I did not realize. Everything is turning a greyer shade instead of the bright reds and greens of early fall. I hold within me this mistake, and I want to talk about it, but it will be hours before I call my sister. I must stand up strong until then. I am so sorry. I wanted to tell an interesting story and I didn’t realize I would scare anyone.

It is a half hour before my next class. Now that I have gotten the badness out of my system I can return to smiles. When I am functioning well in this world that’s me all smiles. It is just when things turn on me that I despair. Activity keeps me from despair. When I have time to stop and think with nothing to do that is when my mind wonders.

I am waiting for English to start again. I have ten more minutes not counting Michigan Time (at the University classes start at ten minutes after the time given on the schedule so a 1:00 class would start at 1:10).

You might think that I am goofing of right now but in reality I am slowly forming and molding a plan ever so simple.

When I was in the mental hospital there was a time that I sat in the sun and told another that I was like a cat. I was like a cat in that I was basking in the light. This memory popped into my head today while I was brainstorming.

I think that I need to brush up on my Maya skills. It is about time that I relearn what I learned and I expand on it as well. Who here would like to see some Maya artwork? Raise your hands. I would be taking Maya from a wonderful Professor with a impressive quality of work. I wouldn’t have thought of switching over to the Maya class if it were not for my Professor in the Art of Memory asking if I wanted to switch classes. Which I think was very impressive of him to read my worries.

You see I was worried that our ideas would not match up. That I would end up doing something that I didn’t want to do just to get a good grade.

I have a category on this website called “Student Life.” I find this funny because I in no way live the normal student life. I do not go out to parties; I just focus on classes. I have in incredible ability to tune out all things I consider wastes of time during the school year. Ok, ok, I did watch a bit of Amine in the Winter semester, but these is beside the point. I tune out life so much that when I am outside of school I do not know what to do.

I think that it is time to send in my paper. I mean the big one that is 22 pages long, the one I have not shown you.

I just visited the Sweetland Writing Center. Apparently I need to step back from my paper and rearrange. I have done this before, but with academic writing. Personal writing from the heart is something I have no experience in editing. I think that this post is about long enough by now, time for me to seat back relax, and watch the day pass me by (I have to go to a lecture at 5 so that gives me a little over an half an hour. I think that I will draw cats. So that someday, when I set up my scanner. I will be able use my own cat pictures. They would be on the right side of the post and not the left, so the two could not be confused.

Challenges

Today I am going to the support group. I cannot disclose information about the group. It is top secret. In fact Support Group is just a code name for top-secret military operation. That is right, even though I have never been in the military my website writing skills are so advanced that I am employed by the government. In fact I am having no trouble at all getting people to visit my site because the whole thing is really a secret code that I have been trained extensively in. So much so that it is like a second language to me.

Hope is coming. I am not sleeping as much as I used to. I can force myself to get up! I have known this for a long time, but it is getting better. It seems that even without having to force myself to get up I am sleeping less, because I am staying up late. I tossed around last night for a long time trying to get to sleep! I will be able to face the school year. I know it. It will not be like the Florida trip where when I got home I had two days of solid sleeping to make up for the sleep I didn’t get during the trip because I was keeping normal hours during the trip.

Think what would you write about if you could write anything in the world. That is the challenge I have before me right now. I have a computer and keys that work just fine. I have been trained in how to type properly, and I time on my hands. I could write a novel in the space between work and school. I could set myself some grand goal. I have the equipment. The novel would have artwork by the author. What would you write? Fantasy? History? Chess strategy?

I have so much equipment in my hands. Right here in this computer. If it were not for my illness I would have used last summer working (hopefully at the library, at the beginning of the summer they were looking for people to work), and doing 3-D modeling because right at that point in time I had a passion for 3-D modeling. Oh, the things I could have done. My passion for 3-D modeling did not hold up under depression. Oh, well.

Right now I am in the art school with the goal of surviving. I have challenges lied before me. Because of my illness I have to get at least eight hours of sleep EVERY night. I must avoid stress. I must be kind to my body. No alcohol. ETC.

Overall I would say this has been a successful post. I think this is one that I can be proud of. I can pat myself on the back and say, “Good job, but don’t stop writing just yet. You got up early so you have time to burn and you need to find something to do. Why not continue writing?” I say to myself, “Well, I guess I could try.”

There are lots of things about my life that you will slowly learn about me this coming year. You will hear about events, repetitive or unique. My fears, I think you can already get a feel of what they are. My dreams, I have no idea what these are so good luck finding them. And so on forth.

I drafted into nothingness once. I don’t know for how long because nothing exists without time. It was a state without thought. I was sitting there one moment and the next moment I was vaguely remembering that I was in the middle of class and I needed to come out of this. I cannot say it was peaceful. It just wasn’t anything.
I have three hours left until I head out for Ann Arbor. Hopefully the traffic will be better this time. Last time it was at a stand still for a while.

I think that if I continue to write it would become quite boring after a while. So I will find something else to do and say good-bye to you.

Welcome!

Today I would like to welcome all of you to a cat’s paradise (kind of like Sara Anne’s Paradise in the Wonderful People Links). I personally have two cats at my parents’ home that I am staying at over the summer, but have an apartment that allows no pets during the school year.

Be sure to brush out your whiskers, and be ready to chase really weird looking spiders. Honestly, I’m outside, and a spider just passed me at a safe distance.

I have to remind myself how important it is to get up and write in the morning. That is what Hemingway did. He wrote every morning and then went to a bar.

Anyway. Be sure to sharpen your claws because we will be playing a game of torturing poor innocent mice like an orca with a seal, and than settling down for a nice round of meowing for food even after we all just wasted the meat of so many of what would have been tasty mice.

I wonder why it is that some predators like to play with their food before eating it. It isn’t just a one-time chance, because off the top of my head both cats and orcas do it. Maybe it helps these animals practice there hunting skills.

Anyway. After our meal we will take time to wash ourselves, and dance around chasing each other. Than of course we would all answer both of the polls listed on this website. *Cat wink*

Oh, and I have added my email address (one of many) to the site feel free to email me.o

Fragments of Thought

My nose is bleeding. I am going to a Mental illness knowledge workshop at the U of M Depression Center in Ann Arbor today. I am supposed to be shipping a book for my Mother but I have no idea where the book is, so that will have to be done tomorrow.

I have concluded after further reading that the last Harry Potter book is in fact a good book. It just spends a lot of time talking about a certain Wizard at the beginning that I do not care for. I think to myself, is the focus of this book this Wizard or is it Harry overcoming the forces of He Who Shall Not be Named.

On a side note, I was thinking about my High School days, and how I for no big reason recalled that my sister said shaving legs took away tans and told this my friend who was Mexican only to get yelled at about her skin not being a tan. I was quite taken aback that she had thought this was anything other then me feeling insecure about how horrible my un-tanned must have looked during gym. Of course I was too horrified to explain this and to this day she might think that I did not realize that she was Mexican and naturally a darker skin tone.

As I was shaving my legs thinking of going outside and tanning because my legs looked like they needed some sun, this popped into my head. Apparently this was one of those memories that stuck to me, like being bitten by a vampire. Another friend told me that I would forget about it, but I did not, I have not, and I do not see myself forgetting it in the future.

I wonder if the day is coming when we will be so advanced in technology that we do not even need to have writing anymore. Everything will just be spoken word. No learning the alphabet, no spelling, and just pure and simple speech. I guess I am wrong about this, because a persons voice would get worn out after a while. It was an interesting idea through, and I just noticed all the cat hair on my laptop. I will just be a minute….

Ok, I’m back. That didn’t take to long. I have one month until school starts back up. One month. I can’t decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that I want to continue working on this very thing that I am doing right now. The problem is I am in Art School not English, and while I have taken one Upper Level Writing Course, Environmental Journalism, I really don’t know what I am doing. As I stated before I am going to take a Creative Writing Course, which should help me along.

You want to know a secret. I am seeking comfort in writing instead of drawing, or another traditional art because nothing is expected of me. If I were an English major I would be seeking comfort in drawing as we speak. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. Okay?

If I had good money I would waste it all on good food. I would eat out so much. I don’t know why this is important for you to know, but be sure to take good notes of everything; you will be quizzed at some point.

What I would really like would someone to find this site that loved my writing style so much that they had to read every single long drawn out post. Are there people that actually do that?

I am happy today because I can feel my shorts are looser, which means my tubby is smaller from all the walking I did in the last two days. Yay, for me. My legs are looking great.

Topic? I am supposed to write on a topic?

I should be reading Harry Potter right now so I can finally complete the series, but I am not. I am barely into the book. It seems to me that Rowling is taking a long time to get to the action. I’m sure it will pick up soon. I, however, will continue, to your delight you by blabbing on and on about nothing.

I did start out with two goals in mind as are stated in my opening line. (Look at the Binder.) These are the goals that a how loosely danced around and then cast aside, because they are only two parts of who I am.

Who am I? I have a strong narrative voice. Can’t you hear it?

I can stand the heat very well apparently because I am outside cool and happy while the air conditioner is making the inside an ice box. It seem that ever since I went to Florida I’ve had a new definition of hot.

While in Florida, we walked past the Art Deco Beachside in Miami; we stopped at a Starbucks where I had a Green Tea Frap, my favorite Starbucks drink. My sister picked up some Postcards at a visitor center. She collects postcards. We all got a little sun. By all I mean my mother, three sisters, and me. My sister, if I haven’t told you before is a Flight Attendant, which is a much harder job than it sounds; just think of the hours on an overnight flight with babies crying, people drunk, and everything just miserable. Well my sister can handle that and more. She is a professional.

It is just beautiful weather out here and a view as good as anywhere. A deck were the paint is cracked, and a yard with two balls left there from a game. A cat is sleeping on the deck.

Yes, it is run down, but the trees are old as well, old and healthy. There is one of those Red Maple Trees (maybe its call Black Maple I forget) in front of me as the sunlight passes through it you can see a hint of green on the other side. Next to it at a good distance for growth is a normal green maple.

Sure its not the Mountains of Alaska or the Beaches of Florida, but it is quiet.

I like it here, but I still want the school year to come. I am getting nervous, maybe I told you this before, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg with a meatball on top. This year is going to be different from all the rest. It’s that Senor Project I keep on talking about. You know, I’ve talked about this with you before and yet I cannot get my words to match my worry. I want to do what I am doing now. I want to write my way through a topic until all the ends connect. I want to create a complex picture through words. I want to write until I know what to do.

Anime - off topic - back to Anime

It appears that today’s topic is Anime, of which I am an also an amateur, the only series I have watched from beginning to end are Inuyasha, D.C. Angel, and Paradise Kiss. My favorite of which being Paradise Kiss for its awesome opening and ending songs.

It was disappointing that last Inuyasha episode. It stopped somewhere that wasn’t an ending at all. Hopefully the series will start again soon. The only problem is that I am no longer the same person I was before. Before, I was so drawn into the story I had to watch episode after episode. I am not like that anymore. Now I prefer writing to reading, unless it is Tarot card reading.

I can still watch movies, because I am a very visual person, but when it comes to words I am in a phase of mixing them like brownie batter, rather then just buying then pre-made.

So here I write, and I know, or think I know, that no one has visited this site, or at least I have had no profile views, which is sad, because my old Blog Sulfur gave my Profile about 300 views, before I transferred everything over to my gmail account and wiped my slate clean. Believe it or not I used to have a name other then Pumpkin Seal, and a snappier profile.

Ah, those where the days. If you have looked at my other Blogs you would have noticed the different styles I have used. This style appears to work the least of them all. I, however, am not prepared to change it. I am not prepared to give up.

I started this post to talk about Anime, but you can see how well I focus. When it comes to D. C. Angel the subbed version is a lot better then the dubbed. I personally prefer subbed to dubbed.