Quick update

Originally uploaded by RedTea

My computer, my poor computer in the repair shop. I could lose everything. I haven’t been able to back up in a long time because the computer would not let me back it up. My post for today. The narrative I wrote. The paper I spent five hours writing. All of these are hanging just barely there, depending on chance. My poor computer has served me well. It is not a problem with the hardware, but the operating system. We think that is what it is at least. I will be forced to work in the clay studio this wonderful day. I am wearing a tan, hot pink, red and purple sweater. My phone is in front of me. It will be keeping my time now that my computer is gone. I am writing on a computer at the school, but it is not the same. My watch then my computer, and if my other post doesn’t die, you will know of all the other thing that have been going wrong. There is one good thing. Sprouts!

A Journey Failed

so feel free to use them
Originally uploaded by RedTea

I rushed over to class only to arrive early enough to spend a good amount of time talking to you. I am not feeling creative, but I worked with clay today on the potter’s wheel, I cleaned my face and arms up, but my clothes look like they are covered in dirt. My sister didn’t like the look of my shoes so much the other day that she took them off the rug that is meant to hold shoes to keep the carpet clean and put them on the deck. This made me very, very mad, but I said nothing. She said it was because she was the one who cleans the rug, but now that I think about it, it gives her no excuse to be so rude. Shoes are very personal things kicking ones shoes out is not nice.

I think I have bored you enough with personal matters. I am very worried about my plants, and feel that I need to set up a grow light soon because time is running out. The problem is I have no car, and everyone is busy. I should a thought of doing it over the weekend, but I was still holding out for getting into the greenhouse. I might have to pay my way into a greenhouse. It’s horrible. I look at their little leaves and they are ever slightly more yellow, some are fine, but I don’t know for how long. I am a failure at my gardening.

I went on a journey to find Project Grow and was told to go to the bus stop at intersection of Barton and Plymouth. I had this picture in my head of it being by the bus stop so I did not look up exactly where. I got there. Did not see a big garden. Walked to Northside School asked directions and was instructed to go to some Science Center down Plymouth. So I walk down Plymouth until I hit a shopping area right next to where I used to live. I stopped and waited at a bus stop just to ask the driver for future information. I was going to walk back to the art school. It would have taken about 25 min with the amount of stuff I had on my back. Before I knew it the bus doors closed behind me, and the bus was off. I decided that I would take this time and do work in a coffee shop.

What in the world am I doing? Frustration builds up inside me, but this time not due to stress. This time I am questioning the work I do for the University. I guess I will have to get used to it. This music here in this coffee shop I cannot stand it. I am going to move to Starbucks.

Yes, I wrote in Starbucks for a long time. Not to you, but an assignment. I know I keep on waving assignments under your nose, but you will get your bite sooner or later.

A post written yesterday

These are old postcards
Originally uploaded by RedTea

My trees are beginning to need a grow light more everyday. They are all not Bonsai yet. The Bonsai look fine, but they are stronger so it would take longer for the effects to show on them.

I have to confess. That stress is not my strongpoint. All this college stuff this year is building up a horrible feeling inside of me. Bipolar disorder is often coupled with an anxiety disorder. I do not want more medication, and my stress isn’t that the extreme.

After I am 25 I will be off my parents insurance. It is a blessing that I was on it when all those hospital stays added up. Once I discovered that I was going to be in the hospital a second time I felt horrible, all that money that was going to be spent on me, again. I wonder where I would be without my parent insurance. I wouldn’t be able to pay for medication, and I would have huge medical bills. I would be poorer than I am now. No Bonsai for me. No art. No college. Everything would have been ripped away from me. A comforting thought.

I have about three more min until I am free to have lunch, a small one.

For lunch I had one of those bottles of Starbucks fraps. I have concluded that there are enough calories in coffee drinks for those to equal a lunch.

The sun is down. I have a Tazo Matcha green tea beside me (don’t tell my doctor) and I’ve had a little Sushi, a little Mac and Cheese and a peach. A well rounded dinner, right? My back is resting in my Lazy Boy Chair. It is complaining about the weight of my backpack, and asking why a carry so much everywhere. Even my purse alone is heavy. It is a relief at night to come home and take off my bookbag (hear it slid off my back down my arm and then a muffed contact with the ground). Next is my purse, which goes over my head and is plopped quickly into my chair. Sigh.

I am shifting in my chair trying to find an angle that is comfortable, but I am losing this challenge.

I took a shower and I am feeling much better now. I did a sound recording for another video to put up on this site, but it saved incorrectly so I have to record it over again. Sorry.

Ok, Namir lets think. Plants. Should I grow other kinds of plants then Bonsai or would it cheapen the project? What other plants could I grow? Something that grows faster, but still has to do with medication. I was once thinking of doing herbs…need grow lights. I need to look into it.