Summer '06 and Theories of the Soul and Water

This summer was a lot better then the summer before it summer where I was very, very depressed. I was so depressed that for a while I had trouble reading even a page of a book. I couldn’t enjoy anything, so everything I did seemed like a waste.

Sooner or later I found a job, but I was still in a bad state of mind, so I couldn’t even enjoy the fact that I was allowed to read most of the time.

By the time I had the well I could read more, and I started clang to books and movies to help me pass the horrible long days.

The job I found did not offer many hours so I turned to the outdoors to take away the rest of my time. I would walk for hours upon hours through the park.

My mind would wonder and I came up with a hypothesis about the soul. The soul is like water. As we get closer to the source of heat (God) we expand and lose touch with ourselves. As we move away from the heat water is cohesive so it pulls together into little raindrops of life.

When Water gets far away from the source it becomes cold, and out of preservation forms crystals together expanding their mass, but as it becomes very cold the water crystals fall in on themselves and the water loses all structure, order, and union, it is only when the heat comes their way that they awake from their prison.

That is all I remember about my hypothesis I linked other elements to other parts of the world, like plants needing water and so on.

The pain of rejection

Please do not stop reading this Blog when you see this, but I was, am, and ever will be a Catholic. My father literally thinks that I am talking to Demons through my Tarot Cards. To this day there are a number of writing by the Catholic Church against Tarot Cards and other religions have the same view. I was wondering if I could be a Catholic and something more.

I grew up in a Catholic School, and received scholarships from people who would probably want me to live a Christian life, and a part of me wants to make them happy. They put their faith in me, and I should return the favor by doing something grand.

That is why I was thinking about doing a big project on fighting the stigma of menial illness for my Senior Project, but am I hurting both the stigma of menial illness and Psychics through this Blog?

I cannot help who I am. At this point in time this is who I am. I am a woman just re-diagnosed as Schizoaffective Bipolar who tried to kill herself a month after school ended this summer. My brother says it was from lack of attention, but I know it was from wanting to die. I felt I would never make it in the world, it wasn’t because of bad grades I passed everything with A’s and B’s, it was because I was so quiet. A stupid reason really, but I was on a weaker medication at the time so I wasn’t thinking right.

So I was in the Hospital, and then Mental Hospital until all the jobs were taken, and then it was to late in the summer to find a job. So I started saleing things on my Mother account on eBay.

Then suddenly I started reading up on Tarot, I had known I was psychic for a long time. So I started doing a little research, and will continue to do research.

I wonder how many people will look at the title of this Blog and just leave…

Card for the July 11, 2007

Here the Waiter is carrying such a heavy load of Ten Whole Breadsticks that he trips. It is because the day is so busy with customers jumping out from the plants, and woodworks. He has been working over time for over a long time and he has forgotten what it is like to get a good rest, and if he keeps on pushing himself he will have to pay the piper, you know that bus boy who always goes out for a pipe of tobacco, but everyone know he is secretly a doctor and not just any doctor, it is from his mind that millions of male enhancement drugs emerged.

Anyway, remember not to work yourself to hard, take time to be healthy, happy, and a hell of a kisser.

The Crystal Tarot - My Second Deck

This is the most beautiful deck of Tarot cards that I have ever seen. Just look at it here.

The sad thing is the Minor Arcana, other than the Court Cards, are just the objects with very little illustration except some hard to understand symbolism, like fish, and crabs.

They have on Amazon, but as I am posting this they are having a new order coming in because they only have two left!

Even with its setbacks it is my favorite deck.
Beautiful. Absolutely Beautiful.

I have instead of I am

It is important to say I have Bipolar disorder instead of I am Bipolar. That way shows that you are not a sickness you are a person with a sickness, but for many where the medication is not working right the illness takes away their thoughts, and energy so much that it almost seems as if it has taken their very being.

It is so hard to live and be medicated and there are so many people who have it worse than I have it. I am sick in the brain, my very thoughts, it is a part of who I am, I cannot tell where the illness stops and the imagination begins. I am unlucky in this way.

It is about the same way with my psychic energy, a lot of people would point to my illness as the reason that I think I have it. I, however, point to the events that I knew were coming, and the emails from my Tarot readings. (Which I would never share without permission.) Is a person a psychic or do they have psychic energy? Is it a part of their being?

I mean no offence!!! Schizaffectiviness and Psychic energy are not linked

I feel I need to make one thing clear. I mean no offense to anyone through this Blog. I just happen to suffer from a mental disorder and be psychic, the two are not linked, and I do not want anyone thinking that they are.

It is possible that I have been suffering from a mental disorder for a long time, but that doesn’t make my predictions any less real.

My Mental illness is my weakness and strength. I have grown a lot from it, but the same medication that keeps me from thinking others are someone plotting against me to keep me from transcending* also makes me sleep a lot and I have to be on two weight loss pills to counteract weight gain.

*They want to hold me on earth because they love me so much.

EBAY