I'm angry! People are saying that mentally ill people are psychics who cannot swim

For a while I have wondered what the difference between psychic and psychosis is. I took this debate to a psychic forum and some seemed to think that the mentally ill were weak psychics so torn apart by their powers that the negative part took over or that they were simply too weak to handle their powers. After my time in the mental hospital I did think that I had become psychic and couldn't handle it, but I was ill. After I few posts I came up with as follows:

(I know that my post on the forum was not well explained and could also make people mad. I think that the general idea shows through.)

"Sorry to post again so soon, but over cooking dinner an idea popped into my head. Psychics respond to the powers outside the brain while the mentally ill respond to the powers inside the brain.

The brain is a powerful thing and obviously uses many voices (nice and/or seemingly evil). So while the mentally ill are responding to a power, they cannot reflect on anything outside of themselves. Yes, in this state the brain can analyze things outside of itself (words, sound, and sight) in wonderfully creative ways, but the process is extremely internal. You are, in a sense, debating with yourself. (I hope I am not debating in a way only I can understand.)

In many cases those in mania become extremely spiritual and think they are contacting the metaphysical/divine world, but in their state they are still contacting something within themselves.

As you know this is nothing like psychic power."

I thought that this was an insightful comment so I tried to look up 'psychic vs psychosis,' to see if anyone else had said the same. I found a site that said mystics could swim in their powers and mentally ill could not. (Upon reading this site I find it very interesting, but my brain was in no mood to understand it without lots of effort. I do not know if it is how the arguments are written or if it is a problem with myself.)

ANOTHER SITE POSTED: (Link taken down as it is now a reported attack site. Sorry if it caused you any problems.)

"With this in mind, one might ask, "What is the difference between being mentally ill and prophetic?" My own psychiatrist once gave me the answer:

People who hear voices and see things that aren't there can be classified into two groups. The first group are people who cannot cope with these voices and are called mentally ill. The second group are people who can cope with the voices and are called psychic. It is my personal belief that being psychic and being psychotic are the same thing depending upon how you cope with it. Society in general regards people who talk to God as holy. But society in general regards people whom God talks to as insane."

YOU HAVE A STUPID PSYCHIATRIST! OH I HAVE WORDS TO SAY TO THIS, BUT I AM TOO MUCH OF A LADY!

Memory all alone in the moonlight

When I was in the mental hospital I thought that I really wasn’t insane, that in reality I had suddenly had a surge in psychic powers, and I was exhibiting others symptoms of mental illness, not mine. When I was released from the hospital I tried to look up a place online that could provide me with the psychic help I needed. The help I needed to show the world that I wasn’t Bipolar.

I experienced many things in the mental hospital, and I remember it. I remember sleeping with my shoes on because…
Because I felt that I was in another realm of being where status was determined by whether or not you had shoes with shoelaces, shoes without, soaks, or bare feet. I was afraid they were going to take my shoes away, along with other fears.

What I am trying to say I had many illusions while in the hospital, and out of it. Oh, who am I kidding. No one wants to hear ramblings on being insane. I’m talking to the air.

Hello, little bunny cloud will anyone other than my family ever read this? No little bunny cloud? This will be piled among other posts of the past and never looked at by the time anyone has discovered that they actually like this site.

Little bunny cloud will you take me to get some ice cream?

I’m tired, but not sleepy tired, but the other kind of tired. I have this worn down feeling inside of me that is more than one lifetime could produce. That is why I have come to believe in other lives. I have an old soul. It does not want to live anymore.

The only reason I am here is for my family, because I cannot let go of my brothers and sisters. If I didn’t have them to consider I would be gone now. Who knows what I would have become. I think that the best possible outcome for someone who gives up on life altogether is nothingness, because somethingness is what they cannot stand.

I am a little dramatic at times. My mother calls me the Moon, and my mind wonders to the Tarot card the Moon, and its illusionary silvery light. I live the illusion sometimes I will just be seating there and pain beyond what can be felt courses through my emotions, I feel like rolling up into a ball, but I just seat there. My mind cries out in pain, my brain feels controlled and medicated almost all the time. I promised myself that I would never forget what feels like to have an unmediated brain. I guess I will have to break some promises.

What did my brain used to feel like? Thinking about it makes me want to cry.

My past Blogs

I figure no one will ever read this Blog. Who want to hear a person who is so offensive (Psychic and Psychosis) , even if I am not trying not to be. In the end this Blog is about keeping me awake, because if I didn’t seat down to write at this moment I would have crawled up and bed and fallen asleep. So, even if no one ever reads this, this is a good Blog. It is good for me.

I received an email from someone with stronger psychic energy than me today, or at least their energy was tamed while mine is raw. I am really working on having my cards attach to me. I keep them with me a lot.

There is a small hurt little fruit fly crawling across my shirt. It is so cute and determined to live, it must have gotten on me when I walked today. Yes, today I walked, that is what I do everyday, try not to sleep and walk. Right now I am on two weight loss pills to counteract the weight gain that comes with Zyprexa (a pretty serious antipsychotic). I am on so much expensive medication, but luckily I am on my parents insurance until I’m 25. Dance Furby Dance.

If you look at my other Blog Sulfur you can see into my past, and you can see another stage of my life at Red Tea.

I was so different then, but in many ways the same. I still enjoy writing just as much. I hardly know depression back than, and Furbies and Mac and Cheese where good topics of conversation. I guess in many ways I was still like a child, but enjoyed this, so why grow up? I had grown up in the important areas that some people never reach. I was mature, I just like to joke about childish things, and play video games, and eat sweet stuff.

Recently, I have stopped playing video games and am putting all my focus into Tarot cards. Which I might add is not childish at all.

Ahhh, my eyes are so sleepy. I had more than enough sleep. Sigh.

I have instead of I am

It is important to say I have Bipolar disorder instead of I am Bipolar. That way shows that you are not a sickness you are a person with a sickness, but for many where the medication is not working right the illness takes away their thoughts, and energy so much that it almost seems as if it has taken their very being.

It is so hard to live and be medicated and there are so many people who have it worse than I have it. I am sick in the brain, my very thoughts, it is a part of who I am, I cannot tell where the illness stops and the imagination begins. I am unlucky in this way.

It is about the same way with my psychic energy, a lot of people would point to my illness as the reason that I think I have it. I, however, point to the events that I knew were coming, and the emails from my Tarot readings. (Which I would never share without permission.) Is a person a psychic or do they have psychic energy? Is it a part of their being?

I mean no offence!!! Schizaffectiviness and Psychic energy are not linked

I feel I need to make one thing clear. I mean no offense to anyone through this Blog. I just happen to suffer from a mental disorder and be psychic, the two are not linked, and I do not want anyone thinking that they are.

It is possible that I have been suffering from a mental disorder for a long time, but that doesn’t make my predictions any less real.

My Mental illness is my weakness and strength. I have grown a lot from it, but the same medication that keeps me from thinking others are someone plotting against me to keep me from transcending* also makes me sleep a lot and I have to be on two weight loss pills to counteract weight gain.

*They want to hold me on earth because they love me so much.

The beginning of a blog...

I had been trying to talk to spirits my whole life, and then slowly they started to talk back. At first I thought it was my good hearing, hearing conversations through the walls. I would stay up at night thinking I could hear my roommate talking about me in the other room. Then the lack of sleep pushed me over the other edge.

An edge I somehow knew I had. I remember thinking that I couldn’t handle staying up every night like other people did, not that I didn’t. I stayed up at night to three every night of my freshmen year, trying to connect with something out there. I would get up at 7:30 am the next day and be fine.

I guess I finally got what I had asked for, I had worn down my brain, and soon after the voices started keeping me up at night I started to feel different. My roommate had often called me insane, and I felt I was, but I didn’t know what to do.

My big college review had just pasted and my mind was picking up speed. I could hear the reviewers picking apart my work, and from their criticism a flood of ideas and inspiration came roaring in.

Then the night came, the night that I thought I heard three people pulling demons out of me, they went over my life inch by inch just as the reviewers had, but in the place of inspiration was shame. I didn’t really sleep at all that night. The next day I ended up in a hospital, and I was diagnosed as Bipolar type I, it was a long time before my diagnoses was changed.