Fish oil vs Flexseed oil?

Today (even if I called it a good day, which by all counts it should be) I am sad and tired. This horrible feeling has settled on me, and I have decided that it is time for me to start taking Fish Oil again. I stopped because it had cholesterol in it. I am thinking of taking Flaxseed Oil instead, but first I must call my pDoc to see if it will be as effective as Fish Oil. I will report back on this when I get an answer.

I want to go out and get the Flaxseed Oil now, because something tells me that it will make me feel better. Flaxseed Oil is more expensive then Fish Oil, but if that is the cost of having High cholesterol in the family then I am willing to pay it. Fish Oil by itself is already expensive.

Oh, in case you don’t know, Fish Oil has been shown in many studies to be beneficial to people with Bipolar disorder. It helps prevent relapses.

Bipolar Choices

I have a cat by my side and a laptop in my lap. My hair is fresh out of a shower. I have been reading, and writing, and watching, and so forth. I have gotten quite lazy, or at least I feel that way. I feel horrible that I can and sleep so much. I’ve never had this problem before.

It feels like my life is slipping away because I’m sleeping through it. I feel so medicated, and there is nothing, well almost nothing, I can do to stop this feeling. As I might has said before, when I first started on my medication I promised myself that I would never forget what an un-medicated brain felt like, and now I wish I could forget it, and at times I do forget it, but in those moments of silence with nothing to do, I can feel it. I can feel the dullness in my brain.

Don’t go off your medications because of me. Many people do not have this feeling, and the good of the medication can be a lot better then the bad. Do not be freaked out by my medication problems. You might not have them. I am just writing about them so you know that other people have the same issues you do.

I am also not saying one medication is good or bad. Each medication and person’s brain is individual and they work differently together.

It is a personal choice whether or not to take medication. If you are deciding whether or not to take medication be sure to educate yourself about all the options that are open for you. I have run into books about naturally controlling Bipolar disorder, but many professionals would say that medications are a great help in controlling the disorder. They however are not the complete cure; a lot of the fight still has to be fought by the person with the disorder.

These things that I talked about earlier in another post good sleep, exercise, and learning how to calm oneself are wonderful tools to have in fixing the problem. Medication makes this easier. So much so that the good of taking the medication outweighs the bad of side effects.

I personally could not go without my medications. I would stop eating because I would think that the food was poisoned and keeping me from transcending. I would think that people were either demons or angels and not be sure which one. In the end I would be terrified.

So for me the choice of taking the medication is different. The question becomes do I want to be insane, or do I want to be sane. What would you choice. The answer isn’t as easy as you would think. The truth is that I like to be a little insane, but when I am I become a danger to myself. So I have to say good-bye to unstable thoughts. Sigh.

The window broke, the thin glass that had always been between the two of them.

He would run up to the old house sit by the birch tree and play music on his flute. She would stare out at him, the only boy she had ever seen. She, she was special. Holy. Pure. That is why she was locked up in that house. She was locked up and silt was placed around the house everyday to block the evil from coming in.

She knew a bit of music herself. She had been taught to play the piano. Something she did for hours at a time, and she read the books that were allowed in the house; books about saints.

It was the Great Queen that had ordered the separation between her and the world. An Oracle had a vision that the unborn baby of her younger sister-in-law would be born and continue through life to be pure, but there was danger from the world of men that could corrupt her.

It has been said that women is men’s downfall when in fact the opposite is true or more correctly we are each other’s downfall.

The Great Queen fell in love with a young page, and soon after disappeared. There were rumors that they ran off together. Ran out of the whole country.

It is a shame because on the very day the King took over he wanted to burn out the faith that the Queen had encouraged, he had all matter of Spiritual Masters put to death and ordered that the young women in the house be poisoned and the house burned down.

It is the heat of those flames that shattered the glass. He ran up to the window to pull her out, she reached out her hand and touched his chin, and fell to the ground. He climbed in and pulled her out, but she was already dead.

She had spent her whole life in that house.

New hidden posts opening up!

What I was really thinking about writing on today was medication, and side effects. I will make available some posts that were hidden before my beginning post. You can now read the start of another Blog that never took off (that is at the very beginning of this site), and a little bit more about medications as they have impacted me (also on this site).

So far I have jumped around the subject of medication, and all you know is that they make me sleepy. Well. I am on the generic form of Wilburton: no known side effects, Zoloft: decrease in sex drive, and maybe the taste of some sweets (I’m not sure which medication is doing this), Lamitical: slower walking (I think), and Zyprexa: the ability to sleep like a Koloa. Koloa’s sleep a lot.

My First Deck

The heat finally got to me. I was like one of those frogs that wouldn’t hop of the constantly heating up plates, because they could not feel the heat increase because it was always the same. What I mean is I was beginning to exhibit the signs of being overheated without feeling hot. So I went into the nice comfortable indoors, took off my shoes, put a blanket over my legs to keep them from the heat of my laptop, put my feet up, and continued where I was before. The thing is I have no idea where I was before. I am going to have to start researching stuff to Blog about.

Oh! I know, I could tell you about my first deck of Tarot cards. Hmm… the Internet connection isn’t as good right here. I will just be patient. Hmm… what to talk about while you are waiting…Now, this is a nice deck that was designed make Tarot cards more friendly to the 21st century. The deck is the most connected to my past, because before I ever did a serious reading it sat in my room for years soaking up my childhood – high school energies. You cannot buy a connection like that.

There I have found all the information online that I need to make a post.

P.S. The Oracle tarot lacks any court cards. A few cards have had their names changed, Death is called Change, the Hierophant is called Tradition, and the Devil is called Bondage.

Welcome!

Today I would like to welcome all of you to a cat’s paradise (kind of like Sara Anne’s Paradise in the Wonderful People Links). I personally have two cats at my parents’ home that I am staying at over the summer, but have an apartment that allows no pets during the school year.

Be sure to brush out your whiskers, and be ready to chase really weird looking spiders. Honestly, I’m outside, and a spider just passed me at a safe distance.

I have to remind myself how important it is to get up and write in the morning. That is what Hemingway did. He wrote every morning and then went to a bar.

Anyway. Be sure to sharpen your claws because we will be playing a game of torturing poor innocent mice like an orca with a seal, and than settling down for a nice round of meowing for food even after we all just wasted the meat of so many of what would have been tasty mice.

I wonder why it is that some predators like to play with their food before eating it. It isn’t just a one-time chance, because off the top of my head both cats and orcas do it. Maybe it helps these animals practice there hunting skills.

Anyway. After our meal we will take time to wash ourselves, and dance around chasing each other. Than of course we would all answer both of the polls listed on this website. *Cat wink*

Oh, and I have added my email address (one of many) to the site feel free to email me.o

Fragments of Thought

My nose is bleeding. I am going to a Mental illness knowledge workshop at the U of M Depression Center in Ann Arbor today. I am supposed to be shipping a book for my Mother but I have no idea where the book is, so that will have to be done tomorrow.

I have concluded after further reading that the last Harry Potter book is in fact a good book. It just spends a lot of time talking about a certain Wizard at the beginning that I do not care for. I think to myself, is the focus of this book this Wizard or is it Harry overcoming the forces of He Who Shall Not be Named.

On a side note, I was thinking about my High School days, and how I for no big reason recalled that my sister said shaving legs took away tans and told this my friend who was Mexican only to get yelled at about her skin not being a tan. I was quite taken aback that she had thought this was anything other then me feeling insecure about how horrible my un-tanned must have looked during gym. Of course I was too horrified to explain this and to this day she might think that I did not realize that she was Mexican and naturally a darker skin tone.

As I was shaving my legs thinking of going outside and tanning because my legs looked like they needed some sun, this popped into my head. Apparently this was one of those memories that stuck to me, like being bitten by a vampire. Another friend told me that I would forget about it, but I did not, I have not, and I do not see myself forgetting it in the future.

I wonder if the day is coming when we will be so advanced in technology that we do not even need to have writing anymore. Everything will just be spoken word. No learning the alphabet, no spelling, and just pure and simple speech. I guess I am wrong about this, because a persons voice would get worn out after a while. It was an interesting idea through, and I just noticed all the cat hair on my laptop. I will just be a minute….

Ok, I’m back. That didn’t take to long. I have one month until school starts back up. One month. I can’t decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that I want to continue working on this very thing that I am doing right now. The problem is I am in Art School not English, and while I have taken one Upper Level Writing Course, Environmental Journalism, I really don’t know what I am doing. As I stated before I am going to take a Creative Writing Course, which should help me along.

You want to know a secret. I am seeking comfort in writing instead of drawing, or another traditional art because nothing is expected of me. If I were an English major I would be seeking comfort in drawing as we speak. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. Okay?

If I had good money I would waste it all on good food. I would eat out so much. I don’t know why this is important for you to know, but be sure to take good notes of everything; you will be quizzed at some point.

What I would really like would someone to find this site that loved my writing style so much that they had to read every single long drawn out post. Are there people that actually do that?

I am happy today because I can feel my shorts are looser, which means my tubby is smaller from all the walking I did in the last two days. Yay, for me. My legs are looking great.