Ok, okay.

I was wrong and my sister was right, or the Doctor was wrong. He pushed some buttons on my foot and then showed me a picture of a fluid sac. I told him over and over again, but my legs hurt when I am trying to keep up with normal people.

I think he didn’t get that point, and may have thought I was talking about the present and not all the time. New shoes he tells me, with heel insoles, I’ve tried whole foot insoles. I don’t think he understood. Do you think I made it clear that I was talking about all the time and not when some sac in my foot is swelling?

Fine! I will take my vitamins; I will pretend that the only thing that is wrong with me is a foot insole. There I’m healthy and angry now. All I was told was to take medications like aspirin or ibuprofen like candy with every meal because they act like a bag of cold peas. Nothing about why my feet fell asleep when all I am doing is walking at a faster pace (not much faster). As for vitamins and minerals:

“Any time a single nutrient is supplemented at excessive amounts, one is really dealing with a much more powerful drug-like effect. And although this has a greater potential to help a medical situation, it equally has the potential of making a particular medical condition worse, or even create new ones if inappropriately used.” –Acu-cell

Well, that is what they say anyway (They being Acu-cell). I’m at…Biggby. Yes, many would say this was my favorite coffee shop. You know, if I were miraculously allowed to drink good milk (ie 2%) mixed with sugar (syrups) and I had a place with a big kitchen I would use what would have been wine racks for syrup bottles (I would also have an espresso machine even if I was forbidden to have any caffeine today.). I would have gourmet grape juice as well.

Sigh.

I’m trying to keep myself up (not tired and happy). ‘People watching’ maybe that will work. That person over there appears to be ‘people watching’ as well. I feel like going to the mall to people watch. I should have gotten a grande… so thirsty.

After the initial evaluation (I went to go see consoling today.) the evaluator told me that I should go see someone the same place as my pDoc. Glad I didn’t mess up and say escalator right? I was tempted. Anything it was concluded that I had Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder. Wow! What an eventful day. The evaluator did however ask, “You are very medicated. You talk without inflection. I wonder if I have any trouble reading.”

“Yes.”

“Have you done illegal drugs…?” Long list of “No.”

“Do you drink caffeine?”

“Yes, but only after noon.” (No, I am kidding. I said, “but my Dr. says I can not have it after noon.”)

“You must stop having coffee, if you have coffee it must be decaf.”

I didn’t dare to ask him about tea. No coffee ever? I’ve lost my train of thought and I am leaving it there.

Back to the present, I am sipping tea… fake tea (herbal tea), because tea has caffeine in it and I don’t think it would be good to have a whole teapot after noon. Yes, at Seattle’s Best they offer whole teapots, but they have a very limited tea selection. What I was at Biggby and walked across the street to Borders.

I have a challenge. I have two hours to finish one teapot. Cheers. Do you want to take my teacup challenge? Espresso might be shots, but tea is cultured. It is like waxing your car. Excuse me for a second.

Wow, I’ve finished 15 min of drinking tea. I fill stuffed, what a good meal. I will make a dent into the level of water in this teapot. I wish I had someone to share with. Tea wonderful tea. You know what? They should have a music sign somewhere on the keyboard. One extra key wouldn’t have been that hard to squeeze in. Just take out the ‘a.’ No one ever uses the ‘a.’ See I almost wrote a sentence without it. It would be hard to put out that one does not use the ‘a’ without using an ‘a.’

Wow, look at that blended coffee drink. Anyone want to gain 5 pounds? Sadly it looks like this dude has the metabolism I used to have, before I gained weight. Stupid, stupid me. All I needed to do was take a step back. Say no it is not good to have pasta all the time, or to live off Ben and Jerry’s and potatoes. It might be true that your ancestors did but Ben and Jerry have changed.

In some ways, in some ways. Give me a second. Good tea. Give it some time to settle in my stomach.

I don’t know what, but this peppermint tea is making me feel better. I was sure a bad thing was on its way, but this tea is saying, “No all you need is Refreshment. All you need to do is to seat down and to write,” “Yes, yes, that I can do! I might have trouble finding a plug, but I will try.”

And the clouds roll in (the flat kind you see in cartoons) and we sing (my teapot and me) “Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun. Hiding behind the trees. We are asking you to please come out and play with us. Mr. (why is the sun male?) sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun. Won’t you please shine down on. Please shine down one me.” –Raffi

And the sunlight hits the rim of the teacup. The top of the teapot, and creates a reflection on a clear plastic panel. So very Mediterranean the building it reflects. At least the buildings tiles, or I guess it is better to say a mix between Roman arches and Art Deco. Turning around and looking at it, the building doesn’t know where it fits in. So lets just say, Art deco, as if that explains everything.

I better slow down with this teapot. I’m almost done and my time here isn’t almost done. I guess I could ask for more water…perhaps you can better understand just how much liquid I can consume, and I don’t even need to go to the bathroom.

I can consume a lot of everything now. My sister says that I have an appetite for life. Party. Party. Party. Tonight I go to a humor show. Ha ha ha. practice with me. I’ve been practicing all semester. Open you mouth and say, “Ha ha ha.” Ahhh. 23 mins of battery power and the tables my plugs are taken. I might have to finish this tea faster then I thought.

It is only a matter of time now. When the computer goes out, I will gulp down all the tea. Oh, I Love Egg. I wonder what they are doing now. Do you think that they made it?

My brain is drifting to a lightheaded feeling again. I used to call it dullness. La la la la. You would think lightheaded would be happy, instead of so disabling. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What is so stupid about it? I don’t know. Its just that I don’t like it, but I have to face it. Makes me feel stupid for having a brain that is so messed up. For all this.

Ok. I had to make a run for it. My battery was complaining so I got food and walked to the place I am… that sounds like Naomi and Nate. They do not appear to be coming this way. And walked to the place I am supposed to go for class tonight. It is a special night. My class is going to a humor show. It is not in a club like we would have liked, but it is free.

There is not wireless right here. This is a campus building! What are they thinking? Didn’t they know that students want to come up here for secret studies? Well, I don’t know what their diabolical plans are (they do not want students hanging around this area), but there are those like me who can temporarily go off the Internet so they failed. Look they even covered up their piano. I can think of another better (not really…maybe worse) part of campus where there are two uncovered pianos.

To Defend Ones Honor!

I’m at Biggby Coffee, which recently had to change its name from Beaner’s Coffee, because Beaner is apparently a racist term. I completely blame my old roommate for this. She (being from California) was so excited by the name that she took a picture to send to her friends. I am imagining that picture traveling throughout all of California until it hit someone who would be upset.

Someone whispered into Biggby’s ear and wanting to avoid legal action the company changed its name. The problem is I liked the name Beaner’s much better then Biggby, and why should the racism of California effect was all? Yes, there are a lot of Mexicans in your state, get over it. Oh, and while I’m at it I could say something to Europe, but that doesn’t impact the name of my coffee shop. Europe, so what if your ‘modern’ world is taken over by Islam. Kidding. It’s been your fear for so long, and it hasn’t happened yet.

Will I every really have a relationship? I want to send out the warning to everyone. This guy was flirting with me, because I was doing the lip thing (I rub my upper lip over my nose when my nose is uncomfortable.) So the guy across from me thinks I am flirting with him. (Really I need to stop doing the lip thing.) He starts flirting with me. So after a while I decide to tell (on my computer screen ) that I have Schizoaffective Bipolar disorder, (Why can’t I stop doing the lip thing.) and I am really paranoid and I am taking medication. He says, “Schizoaffective Bipolar is in a different font then the rest. (I always look it up because it is hard to spell.) You are a liar. I wonder what medication they have for that?” He always shows up at the same time on the same day, so I am thinking next week to bring my box of Zyprexa Zydis, and discretely put it by me. Maybe I will bring all my medication and take it early. Because how dare he say I, “I” am lying about my illness. You try to spell Schizoaffective Bipolar.

So I will have to wait a weak, and carry my medication along with me. Then he will see. HA. I will have the last laugh.

I cannot believe I didn’t notice the font thing. I am an artist!

I was so caught up and showing this dude who was clearly flirting with me to make me uncomfortable, come on he just kept on staring right at me and licking his lips. I guess he figured that because I didn’t leave when he winked at me I was fine with him flirting with me. I wasn’t going to leave my comfortable seat! Maybe he was trying to get me to leave.

So it is settled. Next week, I bring all my medications. I line them out and say, “I normally don’t take these until night, but if you want me to I will take them now.” Sting. Or should I be discrete?

Anyway, I set myself up something to look forward to, and with minimal cost to myself. What do I care if some dude thinks I am a liar? All I care about is my honor, which I am getting a chance to prove. I think Zyprexa will do it.