Does this make any sense?

Senior Project Three
This is a project about creating a spiritual space within me, as me, and around me. I will use meditation (yoga, and tai chi) to form my inter space, and use tools like Tarot cards and growing and shaping Bonsai trees to direct this space into the world around me.

I will read the spreads of the Tarot cards and come up with stories based on the cards, and at the same time I will be creating my own personal motif for each card. An unopened flower just waiting to bloom, for example, could symbolize the fool card. In the end I would have such an understanding of the cards I would be able to take these motifs and do artwork based on spreads without the clutch of a story to get things rolling.

As I am growing an understanding of the deck of tarot cards I will be slowly shaping from seeds many Bonsai trees. In this I am taking a risk, I have never dealt with trees before, and I am hoping that they grow well and strong and do not die on me. I will be keeping the trees on the Balcony of my apartment (or in my room with a florescent light) As for the artwork based on the trees, when they are seeds (or even small plants) I would draw/paint pictures of what I expected them to look like, and what I expected them to see once they grow big. In a way this is just as much about predicting the future as the Tarot cards are, only I am not using the cards to predict the future, as many would expect me to.

I will also be making the pots to hold the Bonsai, or at least to move them to in the future, and I will name each Bonsai. I would have a Bonsai for every kind of medication I have been on because of the intimate relationships that I have had with my medications (they having once been inside me unlike anything a human can be). My medication has nurtured me, enabling me to face the world the way a person a mental disorder could not in the past and now it is time for me to nurture my medications.

Each medication will grow as scientists learn from old medications to make new better ones. Zyprexa Zydis (an antipsychotic) will be lift in the dust, but the Bonsai tree will only grow stronger. Frozen in time, a memory of today’s wonders and limitations. We know so little about the brain right now that our medications might be rather stone aged, and have side effects we do not see. People used to believe that animals were clockwork machines after all.

What will Zyprexa Zydis see in the future? How will brain medications evolve? How will emotions be looked at in the future? Will any elevation up or down, even a slight little bit be considered a problem? Will all today’s pain and suffering be replaced with smiles? Perhaps someone will invent a way to keep the entire population in a controlled, safe, manic like state.

It is important for me to come to grips with my medication when thinking of my spiritual self because it courses through my veins, and is ever so close to me.