Thursday, March 8, 2007

More Abilify: Spinning, Rotating, like a boat in a storm

I try to sleep at night, and I do sleep at night, but while I am trying to fall asleep this weird sensation of being outside of the realm of gravity comes on me. I lay there in bed on my side and I feel as if I could fall into the wall. I try to sleep, but my body feels like it is spinning. The gravity pulling me to the wall disappears, and instead it feels like something is pushing me. I feel tingling at my back.

During the day, when I am not busy, and sometimes when I am, a feeling of uneasiness comes over me. I am not depressed, but I feel something is wrong.

Sanity I have, and too much of it. (I think so anyways, some people would say the whole spinning thing would be insane.)

At times it feels as if for a second a part of my brain is breaking. It is like a little pop, here and gone. My heart feels a little tired at times, it might be a result of my low blood pressure, but it nothing to be worried about. It has been a long time since my last period, but it might just be the sudden changes in medication that are messing up my system.

I do not like this medication Sam I am. I do not like this medication. But. I will stay with it to see if things get better. I cannot afford another medication that keeps me from sleeping, I am past the middle of the semester.

Early morning waking. I wake up as soon as the sun comes up, only I don't fall asleep until 12ish. I have a 10 am class which I get up at 9 for, and only have to get up earlier on Friday. So I wake up at six, and go back to sleep to wake up at seven, and so on. This happened with Geodon as well. ONLY with Geodon I would have woken up an hour too early, and felt the energy to get up and going only to be tricked by that morning energy was it disappeared to nothingness.

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