Resting my eyes

sorry for the blue mark on this one
Originally uploaded by RedTea

I find myself unable to envision wondrous things right now. I have so much to do; so much I have done, but is it enough? I don’t know if it is the medication giving me this feeling, or it just something else. I am tired. I feel medicated. It makes me feel old. No matter how much I sleep I cannot sleep away this feeling. I will rest my eyes now typing blindly.

If I won the eBay thing how long would I feel happy? I wish I were as lucky with free lotteries as I am at getting good phone numbers. My eyes are closed. My fingers are feeling their way around the keyboard. I think that college students should learn how to do this. It would give them a little time to rest their sore eyes while writing a paper. The only problem is that they might fall asleep. Yet, with their mind focused and fingers moving, it just might work.

The music here is lovely. Much better then many other places that I will not name. Yes, I am in a coffee shop. I had a banana and raspberry French Soda. I know, I know, I spent too much time and money in/on coffee shops. I was here yesterday, and I worked on other things. As I set here waiting for the lecture series I am surprised that I stopped complaining.

I go home tonight because I have a Doctor’s Appointment. What am I supposed to do? I have so many things on the burners right now, and I will not be able to do them. It feels nice to rest my eyes, but ideas don’t seem two be flowing through me like they normally do. I am writing in circles. What do you know I could write like this at the lecture series, but I don’t have a big enough charge it will have to wait until later. People are studying all around me. Headphones on. Glued to the screens of their expensive laptops. Others hunched over books. That was the most stereotypical why to describe that.

One would think that closing your eyes would make you more creative. I guess I just need a little practice, right? Sigh. Breathe in. Someone knocks on the bathroom door beside me. The lock is broken or so says the sign taped to the door asking women to please knock. I open my eyes for a second the cool glow of a computer screen reflects itself on my closed eyelid showing how much impact these little boxes of light must have on our eyes. I have been told that our eyes will slow down their decline into the land of the blurry once one gets older. I do not know why this is important, but I have taken the time to tell you so it most be, right? I had a class at the Humane Society last year. I walked doges and comforted cats (IE pet them). It was a good time. I wish that I had that class now. I wish that I had all my classes like that and not like the horrible blah that things have turned out to be.

At least I get to talk to you, right? Do you like me talking to you? I certainly would be a horrible writer if I never took the time to write, so I thank you. Who are you? A lot of people visit my site and never come back. This is a sad, sad thing, right? Right? I have taken to the habit of saying ‘right’ a lot in this post, right? I think that I should just use the word for all it is worth.

It is so peaceful to close my eyes when typing it becoming just me you and all the noise in between. I have also noticed that I can picture words in my head very well. I can feel them as I type them in a way that I have never before. You should try this. Typing with looking that is. Close your eyes let go of your dependence on sight and be. It also cares my need to makes sure that everything doesn’t have a red line under it (I write in mircosoft word). Can I trust you? I am going to have to go back and put in paragraphs right now it is just one big block of writing. Banana and Raspberry it was pretty good, but I like Banana with Cinnamon better. I also tried a Pumpkin Spice and Gingerbread that a employee recommended the other day.

Eyes open I stare at the amount I have written, and I wonder if I have really said anything at all. I guess we can call this Namir Light. I close my eyes again. Yawn. I wonder if I convince my brother to take me to taco bell? Resting eyes, resting mind, resting soul, resting hair, and resting everything but fingers. My fingers they have a duty.

Me!!!

If I won $50,000 on eBay

I was thinking of what I would do if I won the $50,000 to spend on eBay. I thought to myself well I need a vehicle to get around so way not buy from a company that is based in Michigan. Yes, Ford. If I won I would get a 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid.

Next I think, well I would like a house, so I look up real estate and bump into a very expensive house that I would have to win many, many, many times to get, but notice another manufactured home just outside of Ann Arbor. I am sold on the fact that if I win I am going to forget about my promises to spend the money on bonsai and get shelter and transportation.

Then I notice that you get no land with this house, they have to rent the space. The whole point of me getting a house would be to avoid paying rent. Now I guess I am back at spending money on bonsai. Then I think, maybe I can buy some land to grow my bonsai on. I do a search for land in Michigan, but find nothing in my area. Seeing acres in the Upper Peninsula got me thinking about spending the money on land and when everyone is displaced by floods and heat I could have a space for my family, and sale a little to get by.

Then I got to thinking, well maybe it isn't so bad to rent the lot, maybe I could take out a loan to buy the land. I would much rather be living on my own land then renting it. I would look into all this before buying the house. Next, I would plant my garden. All those little bonsai seeds would go into the ground.

If I won twice over (it is unrealistic to think of winning once, but why not) I would buy the equipment to put a greenhouse up on the lot.

A day and a Bonsai almost gone

It has been too long since I made my last written post. I have been working on videos, and a particularly long piece that you will enjoy once it is done. I will just have to figure out what to do with it. I do not think that putting it into audio gives it anymore power. I have tried some short clips and found it disappointing. All and all creating videos for youTube has not increased my traffic as much as I would have hoped. I want to get more people to visit, but I will not bore you with this anymore in this post.

There was another Bonsai tree that I would have loved to have bid on, on eBay. The auction is not over yet. I wanted it so much that I played that “win $50,000 to spend on ebay game.” It is a special that they are running right now. They do this kind of thing every now and then. I, however, didn’t win, and my mom didn’t win either. I just have to tell myself that there will be other Bonsai trees. –Sigh.

Another video

She's been borderline so long, She's finally gone over the edge

Quick update

Originally uploaded by RedTea

My computer, my poor computer in the repair shop. I could lose everything. I haven’t been able to back up in a long time because the computer would not let me back it up. My post for today. The narrative I wrote. The paper I spent five hours writing. All of these are hanging just barely there, depending on chance. My poor computer has served me well. It is not a problem with the hardware, but the operating system. We think that is what it is at least. I will be forced to work in the clay studio this wonderful day. I am wearing a tan, hot pink, red and purple sweater. My phone is in front of me. It will be keeping my time now that my computer is gone. I am writing on a computer at the school, but it is not the same. My watch then my computer, and if my other post doesn’t die, you will know of all the other thing that have been going wrong. There is one good thing. Sprouts!