Last day Spring Break

What will I write on this lovely winter day with the melting snow? Well this post isn’t going to write itself. For a second when I opened a word document I just stared at it wondering what was wrong with it? Why weren’t there any words going across the screen, and then I remembered that you have to write the words in order to get them to show up. Until the day when documents write themselves, we will be forced to do the dirty work of typing.

I have read, for a long time now. Tomorrow Spring Break is over, and I will be back in the game. Get your head in the game. Oh, High School Musical! Could they sing those words just one more time? This time unlike the hundreds of other times they had to say it. It’s not like I go around watching Disney made for TV movies. I just have connections to some cool people who happen to love High School Musical.

The other day, I ended up at the movies, and the soonest movie on the list was, The Spiderwick Chronicles. So that is what my brother and me watched. When asked if he like it my brother said, “It’s a movie.” We came to the conclusion that we had not just ruined one book, but every single chronicle. When asked if he thought he would like the books my brother said, “Its good enough to get a movie made out of it.” Overall though, I think it was more fun, and healthier, then if we went to Barnes and Noble (I am drawn to the Starbucks their and the vast offering of sweets that you cannot find in a normal Starbucks.)

I am in a contest with my sister on who can last longer keeping an early bird schedule. My sister concluded that due to my medications I now should aim for 10 hours of sleep, so I would go to bed at 10 pm, and wake up at 8 am. She needing only 8 hours of sleep will also be going to bed at 10 pm, but waking up at 6 am. So far we have both lost the first day, so we canceled each other out. If I win my sister is going to get me a slice of that Godiva Double Chocolate Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. If I lose I have to make my sister something in clay.

I somehow think that I am at a disadvantage being that I am sleepy most of the time. I guess I have to learn how to face it. It makes me so mad. I got a good number of hours of sleep last night, not too much or too little, and yet I feel like I need to sleep. Not that I want to sleep. And for seconds or minutes it lifts and I feel normal. Getting up usually activates my mind, but even working out I get sleepy.

“Why are you smiling?” my brother asks me. “Because I had caffeine today.”

Now I stare at my floor. I touched up a rough draft, but it is just a draft. I couldn’t work on it anymore. My mind would not get into that mode. It is a draft after all. So I read for a number of hours and here I am now, bubbling away. Talking to air.

People on the level of Lamictal I am on sometimes complain about a dull feeling in their brain. I complained when I was on a smaller dose. My brain seems so quiet, yet here I am talking, so something must be going on. I talk, and smile. I am happy and yet I am tired. Everyone’s brain is like a fingerprint, unique like strips on a tiger. My brain, or body is tired. Do I stop breathing at night?

I am told that no good comes from knowing one has a sleep disorder. Oxygen tanks that make the person so uncomfortable that they cannot sleep, and if you are lucky (if the solution is that simple) nose surgery. Otherwise all you get is advice. Get well, be healthy, try to keep healthy hours no good. I’ve slept two days in a row! True, I was making up for days when I was forced to keep normal, or slightly more normal sleeping hours. The 30 hours on Christmas doesn’t count because I had to get up for the opening of presents.

How am I going to do this? How am I going to get sleepiness out of my life? I don’t see my pDoc for another two weeks. (She went on vacation and was booked up when she came back.) I feel like I have been up studying (when in fact I was looking up stuff on Zoloft).